


this hurts

by revewuv



Series: almost, maine [3]
Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Dialogue Heavy, F/F, Not really angst tho, Protective Older Brothers, Sad and Happy, Symbolism, the whole thing just has an underlying sadness to it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:53:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28336488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revewuv/pseuds/revewuv
Summary: “No, it’s not serious. I don’t think an ironing board could really hurt your head, ‘cause, see,” Hyejoo says, forcing her ‘Things That Can Hurt You’ book on her. “Ironing boards aren’t on my list of things that can hurt you.”“What is this―?” Chaewon says, dealing with the book.“plus, there’s no blood or discoloration from where I got hit, so I’m okay…”
Relationships: Park Chaewon | Go Won/Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye
Series: almost, maine [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2075043
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	this hurts

Park Chaewon is finishing up ironing a man’s work shirt in the laundry room of Ma Dudley’s Boarding House in Almost, Maine. Son Hyejoo is sitting on a bench reading from a notebook labeled ‘Things That Can Hurt You.’ Chaewon looks at the shirt she has been ironing and suddenly crumples it and throws it into her laundry basket. She picks up the iron and wraps the cord around it, preparing to put it away. As she does so, she burns herself on it.

“Ow! Dammit!” Hyejoo takes note of this, produces a pencil, and writes “iron” in her ‘Things That Can Hurt You’ book. Meanwhile, Chaewon has put the iron back where it belongs. She then goes to the ironing board, folds it up, and turns to put it back where it belongs―which is next to where the iron lives.

As she turns, she accidentally hits Hyejoo in the head with the flat face of the ironing board, knocking her off the bench. “Oh, no! I’m sorry! Oh...I didn’t see you! Are you okay?!?” 

“Yeah.” Hyejoo says, unfazed.

“No you’re not!! I smashed you with the ironing board! I wasn’t even looking! Are you hurt?” 

“No.” Hyejoo says, calmly re situating herself on the bench. “Oh, you must be!! I just smashed you! Where did I get you?” 

“In the head.” 

“In the head?!? Oh,” Chaewon goes to her. “come here! Are you okay?” 

“Is there any blood?” 

“No.” 

“Any discoloration?” 

“No.” 

“Then I’m okay.” 

“Well, I’m gonna go get you some ice.” 

“No. I can’t feel things like that.” 

“Like what?” 

“Like when I get smashed in the head with an ironing board. I don’t get hurt.” 

“What?” 

“I can’t feel pain.” 

“Oh, God, what the hell have I done to you?” 

“Nothing.”

"You’re talking loopy! Listen to you, going on about not being able to feel pain! That’s delusional! I’ve knocked the sense right out of you!” 

“No, I’m okay.” 

“Shh! Listen: I was gonna be a nurse, so I know: You’re hurt. You just took a good shot right to the head and that’s serious.”

“No, it’s not serious. I don’t think an ironing board could really hurt your head, ‘cause, see,” Hyejoo says, forcing her ‘Things That Can Hurt You’ book on her. “Ironing boards aren’t on my list of things that can hurt you.” 

“What is this―?” Chaewon says, dealing with the book. 

“plus, there’s no blood or discoloration from where I got hit, so I’m okay…” 

“Well, you can be hurt and not be bleeding or bruised.” 

“And, plus, my list is pretty reliable, ‘cause my brother Mingi is helping me make it, and I can prove it to you: See, I bet if I took this ironing board,” 

She gets the ironing board. “like this, and hit you with it, that it wouldn’t hurt you.” She smashes Chaewon in the head with the flat face of the ironing board. “See? That didn’t hurt.” 

“Ow!!” Chaewon says, scrambling away from Hyejoo.

“Oh!” 

“Ow! What the hell was that?! Why did you do that?” 

“Oh! I’m sorry! Did that hurt?” 

“God!” 

“Oh, it did, didn’t it?” 

“Ow!” 

“Oh, I didn’t think it would, ‘cause, see, ironing boards are not on my list of things that can hurt you, but, gosh, maybe they should be on my list, because―” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“I have a list of things that can hurt you―my brother Mingi is helping me make it―and ironing boards aren’t on it.” 

“Well, that ironing board hurt me.” 

“Yeah.” 

“So you should add it to your list.” 

“Yeah.” She adds ‘ironing boards’ to her ‘Things That Can Hurt You’ book, thinks, and then picks up a book labeled ‘Things To Be Afraid Of.’ “Should I be afraid of ironing boards?” 

“Well, if someone swings it at your head and hits you with it, yes.”

“Well, it’s not on this list―...I have a list of things to be afraid of, too, and ironing boards are not on this list either.” 

“Well they shouldn't be, really.” 

“No?” 

“No, you shouldn’t be afraid of ironing boards.” 

“No?” 

“No.” 

“But they can hurt you.” 

“Yeah.” 

“So I should be afraid of them.” 

“No.” 

“So I shouldn’t be afraid of them?” 

“Right.” 

“But they can hurt me.” 

“Well, if they’re used the way you used it, yeah.” 

“Oh-oh-oh! So, they’re kind of like the opposite of God!” 

“What?” 

“Well, ironing boards can hurt me, but I shouldn’t be afraid of them, but God, my brother Mingi says, God won’t hurt me, but I should fear him.” 

“I guess.” 

“Boy, this is getting very complicated.” 

“What is?” 

“The business of learning what hurts, what doesn’t hurt, what to be afraid of, what not to be afraid of.” 

“Are you sure you’re okay? You’re just going on and on about crazy stuff―” 

“Oh, yeah, yeah, see I have congenital analgesia, he thinks. Some people―”

“What?” 

“Congenital analgesia.” 

“Who thinks?” 

“My brother Mingi. Some people call it congenital insensitivity to pain, but...it all just means I can’t feel pain. You can hit me if you want to, see!” 

“No.” 

“Go ahead. It won’t hurt, see?” She hits her head with the book. “Ow!” 

“See?” She hits her head again. “Ow!” 

“Go ahead.” She offers her the ‘Things That Can Hurt You’ book so she can hit her with it.

“No!” 

“Come on!” 

“No!!” 

“Come on!!” 

“No!!!” 

“Okay. You don’t have to. Most people don’t. Hit me. Most people just go away. You can go away, too, if you want to. That’s what most people do when I tell them about myself. My brother Mingi says I shouldn’t tell people about myself, because I scare them, so I’ve recently put ‘myself’ on my list of things to be afraid of, see?”

She looks for ‘herself’ in her ‘Things To Be Afraid Of’ book. “But I’m not sure he knows I did that―” Her curiosity gets the better of her, Chaewon has come up from behind Hyejoo and suddenly hits her on the back of the head with the ‘Things That Can Hurt You’ book. 

“Oh, my gosh! I’m sorry! Oh, my gosh! I just clocked you!” 

“You hit me! Most people go away, but you hit me!” 

“I had to see if it would really hurt you! But―are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I don’t feel pain!” “...Don’t feel pain, right, of course you’re okay! But―are you sure?”

“Well, is there any blood?” 

“No.” 

“Any discoloration?” 

“No.” 

“Then I’m okay.” 

“Well, buddy, you can be hurt and not even look like it.” 

“But―” 

“Trust me. There are things that make you bruised and bloody, and there are things that hurt you that don’t make you bruised and bloody and...they all hurt.” 

She gives Hyejoo back the ‘Things That Can Hurt You’ book. “I’m―my name’s Chaewon.” 

“Hi, Chaewon. I’m Hyejoo.” 

“Hi, Hyejoo. I just moved in, so I don’t know many people here. What room are you in?” 

“Room 3, second floor.” 

“Oh. We’re on the third floor. Room 7.” 

“Yeah, right above us. We saw you and your husband move in.” 

“Oh, he’s not my husband. He’s just my boyfriend. Chanhee.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah, our roof collapsed from all the snow in December. We’re just here till we can get our feet back on the ground.” 

“Oh. Well, that’s good, ‘cause that’s what Ma Dudley says her boarding house is. A place where people can live until they get their feet back on the ground. My brother Mingi says we’ve been trying to get out feet back on the ground our whole lives.”

“Oh.” 

“Yeah, it takes some people longer to do that than others.” 

“Yeah.” Chaewon goes to get her stuff together so she can go. 

“You guys are loud.” 

“Huh?” 

“You and Chanhee. You yell and bang. We’re right below you.” 

“Oh. Sorry about that. We’re going through a rough patch. Happens. Sorry.” Chaewon starts to gather her stuff to go, but then stops. “What’s it like?” 

“What’s what like?” 

“To not feel pain. I don’t know. I don’t know what it’s like to hurt, so...I don’t know.”

“Is this...how you were born?” 

“Yeah. I don’t have fully developed pain sensors. They’re immature, my brother Mingi says, and because they’re immature―” 

“How does he know that?” 

“Oh, he reads,” 

“But―” 

“and because they’re immature, my development as a human being has been delayed, he says,” 

“But―” 

“but he teaches me what hurts though.” 

“Why??” 

“So I won’t ruin myself. I have to know what hurts, so I know when to be afraid. See, my mind can’t tell me when to be afraid, ‘cause my body doesn’t know what being hurt is, so I have to memorize what might hurt.” 

“Okay. Makes sense.” 

“And I memorize what to be afraid of.” Hyejoo shows Chaewon items in her ‘Things To Be Afraid Of’ book. “Things like bears. And...guns and knives. And fire. And fear―I should fear fear itself. And pretty girls.”

“Pretty girls?” Hyejoo realizes Chaewon is pretty. “Yeah.” 

“Why should you be afraid of pretty girls?” 

“Well, ‘cause my brother Mingi says they can hurt you, ‘cause they make you love them.” 

“What?” 

“And that’s something I’m supposed to be afraid of, too―love―but Mingi says that I’m really lucky, ‘cause I’ll probably never have to deal with love, because I have a lot of deficiencies and not very many capacities as a result of the congenital analgesia.”

“Wait, what do you mean you’re never gonna have to deal with love, why―” 

“‘Cause I’m never gonna know what it feels like, Mingi says.” 

“Well, how does he know that?” 

“‘Cause it hurts.” 

“It shouldn’t.” 

“And, plus, I have a lot of deficiencies and not very many capacities.” 

“You know what, a lot of people do.” And suddenly Chaewon is kissing Hyejoo. At first it’s just her kissing her, but, eventually, Hyejoo participates. When she does, Chaewon breaks away. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Are you alright? Are you okay?” 

Hyejoo doesn’t quite know how to respond. She hasn’t learned about this. Then, feeling her lips, and resorting to her usual way of answering this question: “Well...is there any blood?” 

“No.” 

“Any discoloration?” 

“No.” 

“Then I’m all right. I think.” 

“Yeah. You are.”

“I’m so sorry I did that. It’s just―...You’re just...very sweet.” Hyejoo tries to make sense of what just happened. “But...you have a boyfriend.” Chaewon begins gathering her stuff. “Yes, I do.” 

“Chanhee.” 

“Yes―” 

“And you’re his girlfriend, right?” 

“Yup.” 

“And if you’re his girlfriend and he’s your boyfriend, you must love each other, right?” 

“Yeah, we do, very much.” 

“But―you just kissed me.” 

“Yup, I did.” 

“And it’s Friday night, and you’re doing your laundry.” 

“Yup, I am.” 

“And people who love each other, they don’t kiss other people and do their laundry on Friday nights, I’ve learned that. People who love each other, they go to the Moose Paddy on Friday nights, or they go dancing together, or they go skating. And they kiss each other. They don’t kiss other people―you know what? I think maybe you and your boyfriend don’t actually love each other.”

“You know what?” Chaewon says, preparing to leave. “I’ve been down here longer than I said I would be, and he doesn’t like that.” 

“Who?” 

“My boyfriend.” 

“Who you love.” 

“Yes.” 

“Very much.” 

“Yes.” 

“Even though you kissed me.” 

“Yes.” 

“Wow, I’m going to have to talk to my brother Mingi about this!” 

“No! Don’t talk to your brother Mingi about this! Tell him to stop teaching you.” 

“Tell him to stop teaching me...What?” 

“Whatever he’s teaching you. Tell him to stop. What he’s teaching you...isn’t something you wanna know.”

“But I have to learn from him!” 

“Look: I was gonna be a nurse, so I know: You need to go to a doctor and not have your brother read whatever it is he reads.” 

“But I have to learn from him―” 

“You know what? I gotta go.” 

Hyejoo sits down on the bench. “Right. You gotta go. You’re―you’re leaving. I knew you would. That’s what people do.” 

“No, I just have to―. I told you, Chanhee doesn’t like it if―.” 

“Your boyfriend?”

“Yeah, he doesn’t like it if I’m down here longer than I said I’d be, and I’ve been down here longer than I said I’d be.” Chaewon picks up the ironing board. As she goes to put it away, she accidentally swings it around and hits Hyejoo in the head, just as she did before. Hyejoo gets knocked off the bench.

“Ow!” 

“Oh! I’m sorry!” 

“Ow!” 

“I’m so sorry! Are you alright? I can’t believe I just did that to you again!” 

“Ow!!” Chaewon goes to help Hyejoo, but stops short. “Wait―: What did you just say?” As Hyejoo rubs her head, she realizes what she just said. She looks at Chaewon, and tells her plainly: “Ow.” 

The northern lights appear. Chaewon and Hyejoo just look at each other, utterly unsure of what has happened or of what will happen.


End file.
